In the latest internet rumors, we're hearing that Ryan Gosling is being considered for Doctor Stephen Strange. I'm here to tell you that is wrong. Hydra HQ has the exclusive rumor being started at this cubicle. Former The Pete Holmes Show host, Pete Holmes, is now being eyed for the role. After all of Pete's skits about superheroes, he's finally being considered for a role in tent pole production. We'll let you know more as we think it up.
Just mere moments after hearing that Edgar Wright will no longer helm the Ant-Man film for Marvel Studios, the editors here at HYDRA HQ started making up their own rumblings of a replacement. They did the obvious and looked at the casting of Paul Rudd and thought..."what director does Mr. Rudd tend to work for?" The answer was Judd Apatow. Now, Judd Apatow has never helmed a big budget blockbuster like this before, but that has yet to stop Marvel. They've had interesting directors before. For instance, fading action director Shane Black's career was resurrected after the polarizing Iron Man 3, and the TV directing duo the Russo Brothers were given the reigns to the sequel to their sequel. This out-of-the-box thinking is what makes us here at HYDRA HQ absolutely sure that Judd Apatow will be announced as the director without doing any sort of research or calling a studio or even looking on-line to see if Apatow is available to get this film out by the already established release date. Sure, one might think Marvel will be using writer Joe Cornish to take over directing duties, but we know the truth. Judd Apatow is rumored to be the top candidate in the directing pool for Marvel's Ant-Man in 2015.
from desk of the Professor of Procrastination:
In 2012, the first movie of the year I attended in the theater was the Katherine Heigl classic One for the Money…I say attended because I refuse to say I ever watched that piece of crap. After being eye-raped by that, every movie seemed better that year. 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, TASM, Prometheus, Ted, The Dark Knight Rises, Rise of the Guardians…and even movies like American Reunion and Dark Shadows were elevated. It was a good year for films that I watched in the theater.
In 2013, the first movie I watched was Gangster Squad. The rest of the year was as mediocre as that…G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Iron Man 3, Thor 2, the Incredible Burt Wonderstone, The Croods, Monsters U, Star Trek into Darkness, This is the End, Man of Steel, Pacific Rim, Anchorman 2…nothing seemed outstanding, but nothing seemed horrible either. It was a year of middle-ground films in my opinion.
This year, I started out with the re-release of the IMAX 3D spectacular, Gravity. It was awesome, and I discovered a new IMAX theater not too far away that has a "21 & older" VIP section that allows drinking while being entertained. And since then, I watched the Lego movie and the Muppets with my kids…not at that theater. I enjoyed both of those family films. Then, I went to Captain America 2, TASM2 in IMAX 3D, and Godzilla were all great for different reasons. I’ve been having a fantastic time at the theater so far this year.
My tip to make a year in movies be truly MEMORABLE (bringing it back to Memorial Day) is to have the first movie you watch in theaters to be either be the worst movie of the year OR a mind-blowing cinematic experience. The rest of the year will only be better because you know you are seeing something better, or you know that you've already seen one of the best things ever put on film, so quit nitpicking and just be entertained by everything else. But, most importantly…find a theater that serves beer. Because beer makes everything you watch seem better…unless Katherine Heigl stars in it.
HAVE A GREAT MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!
This message is sponsored by BEER. It’s what’s for dinner.
GREEN - A MUST SEE
YELLOW - DVD/NETFLIX WORTHY
RED - AVOID AT ALL COSTS. HABANERO JUICE IS RECOMENDED TO BE RUBBED IN YOUR EYES
The latest rumor floating across the Hydra HQ desk is in regard's to FOX's unannounced Deadpool film. Originally, we thought Ryan Reynolds would be given another chance at the Wade Wilson role, but it turns out that after NBC cancelled Community last week that I started thinking perhaps Joel McHale could pull off this role. At one point, I was thinking maybe Justified's Timothy Olyphant would be another good candidate, so let's just assume that FOX is looking into both actors for a film that they have not officially announced.
Craig Fergusion is leaving CBS's Late Night at the end of this year. Is this a coincidence that he is ending his tenure so closely to Marvel kicking off phase 3? Insiders here at HYDRA HQ think not. We are starting the rumor that Disney is looking into Fergusion as the lead role in Marvel's upcoming Doctor Strange film. Johnny Depp was once rumored to be a candidate for this role and since Depp and Fergusion are close to the same age...this new rumor has validity.
MY THOUGHTS ON HOW WARNER BROTHERS SHOULD MOVE FORWARD WITH THE JUSTICE LEAGUE FRANCHISE AND ITS CHARACTERS
If you haven't heard, Warner Brother Studios has confirmed that after 2016's Man of Steel 2 (AKA Batman Vs. Superman), the Justice League will hit theaters with director Zack Snyder at the helm.
My idea is to have one director (like Nolan with Batman) take control of a trilogy of films. Snyder will have Man of Steel, Batman vs. Superman, and the Justice League under his belt in the next few years. After his trilogy of films with Superman in the lead and Batman as a secondary character, I'd like to origin stories and a new trilogy started with a new director. The kicker...I'd like an origin story for a character like Wonder Woman, then an crossover film like Wonder Woman and Aquaman, then the third film is the Justice League film from their perspective. The next group of films from a third director could be the Flash origin, Flash and Green Lantern crossover, and a third Justice League film from their perspective. 9 films. 3 directors. But the third film in each trilogy links together to give you the whole story about the Justice League. It's the Arrested Development Season 4 of comic book movies. It's unprecedented and something that could not be compared to Marvel...Disney, Sony, or Fox. I don't know if it would be possible, but I think if it is...Warner Brothers has the patience and the ability to think outside the box and hire smart writers who could pull something like this off.
Ok...maybe I should have reworded it to say "the stupidest possible thing on any media format" so that the headline of this post would officially make sense, but I wasn't thinking straight because I had witnessed 4 or 5 of the Geico Portrait Gallery commercials within an hour. Seriously, who was hired to do that company's marketing? The Caveman...that's ok. The Gecko, sure that works. The money with eyes...that's dumb, but I'll accept it. The ridiculous paintings in an art gallery doing absolutely idiotic things with annoying sounding voiceovers...FIRE SOMEONE!!
Shame on you Urban Dictionary for being so renarded and not posting this intellectual definition while making "shweeting" the word of the day on that same very day. For shame Urban Dictionary. For shame.
Geico probably advertises on their website.
The Prince of Persia is looking for a new franchise role to take over, and Disney just may have the perfect fit for him. The rumor heard here at HYDRA HQ is that Disney/Marvel Studios is looking into casting Jake Gyllenhaal as the lead role in their upcoming film, the Kevin Feige unannounced Doctor Strange movie. Who knows if this rumor has any legitimacy, but at HYDRA HQ, we feel as if any possibility is worth mentioning even if I just made this entire announcement up.