With all the casting rumors about the upcoming crossover character for the MCU and Sony, we've decided to break the news that we've made up our own casting decision.
We here at HYDRA HQ are in shock that Sony made a compromise with Disney/Marvel Studios to allow their top hero to crossover into the Marvel Cinematic Universe and team-up with Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Nick Fury, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Thor Odinson, and Hawkeye Pierce (damn this BING search engine!), I meant Clint Barton.
The question now is, who will show up? Will it be the 3rd incarnation of Peter Parker? Or will the studios agree to bring in Miles Morales? Will Andrew Garfield crossover into the Marvel realm? That answer is believed to be a resounding NO! Marvel said something like, "We want NOTHING to do with those movies from before." Apparently, they're still upset about Sony wedging Topher Venom in their already convoluted retconning of the Uncle Ben plot and giving their main antagonist soap opera amnesia ...and then years later forcing the Green Goblin story arc into a film about Electro. Sony didn't learn any lessons from studio executive interference causing Raimi's trilogy to end and spawn a reboot. So when Sony executives decided they wanted their own "shared universe," they convinced Marc Webb to cram Harry Osborne's transformation and the updated mechanical Rhino suit from Ace Ventura 2 into a decent sequel about Dr. Manhattan being angry about wearing pants. I think I missed the point of the plot in the Amazing Spider-Man 2, but man, those visuals were pretty spectacular...am I right? Anywho...my point is Sony wanted a "shared universe" and tried too hard to force it. Basically, Sony swung so hard their first attempt at creating a "shared universe" that they whiffed it, got overly upset, and threw down the bat to give up. While walking away, they asked to join the opposing team. Well, that's kind of what happened...isn't it?
So Kevin Feige is over-seeing the new incarnation of the web-head, the question remains who will it be? Will he be young? old? Peter? Miles? Ben Reilly? Doc Ock? Or could it be Spider-Gwen? Nobody knows...at Hydra HQ at least. But, we have an inclination that Marvel Studios wants to create more controversy with Iron Man 3. SPOILER Not only was the Mandarin just an actor hired by Killian END SPOILER, but the cameraman who helped out Tony wasn't named Gary...his name is Peter. That's right, in the MCU, Spider-Man will be portrayed by Adam Pally. The thinking about this casting comes from Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Chris Pratt. Now, they'll have Adam Pally and Adam Scott (Ant-Man) teaming up against the Chris's.
UPDATE: It has been brought to the attention of HYDRA HQ by a Scranter (Screen Name: The Shoveler) that Adam Scott is not actually Paul Rudd. We here at HYDRA usually pride ourselves on competence, but occasionally, we make mistakes. It's a very rare occasion. And, I am here to assure you that we do not think ALL white people who have made movies with Will Ferrell and have also had roles on Parks and Recreation look alike. We apologize for this mistake and realize we should have stuck with the original joke of using Thor 2's Chris O'Dowd and the kid from Modern Family, Nolan Gould, as the younger version. The MCU needs more Chris's!
Seriously though, if Chris Pratt and Paul Rudd can get into "Marvel-shape" then so could Adam Pally. The guy is great at comedy and it's a different direction than the two high school versions we've seen in the past. We'll actually have a Spider-MAN on screen.
So our theory is that Spider-Man is an adult in the MCU. Eventually, this version of Parker could pass the torch to Miles Morales, but Sony wants teenage angst now! So, how about flashbacks? In the Sony solo film, Bradley Steven Perry could provide origin and the development of Parker's spider powers. We don't need to see Uncle Ben shot again, but we should see some interaction with Aunt May. It would be sad to see Adam Pally still living in his Aunt's basement.
This young actor could easily pass as a young Adam Pally. The story could be about Parker's upcoming marriage to Mary Jane and show his growth as a hero through his high school years. Maybe even retread the Gwen Stacy story for a short scene, perhaps that's when Nick Fury finds him. Show us how Parker has dealt with loss...so I guess we'll still need the Uncle Ben scene. But shorten it. Real short. We could see how this hero matured and grew up and captured so many villains. Then, Adam Pally could deal with some problem/villain for the climax....let's go with Doc Ock so he can start recruiting for his team of evil.
The point is that we'll see young Spider-Man putting away these strange criminals, but not too powerful of super villains otherwise we'd see Iron Man flying in. Parker is secretly recruited by SHIELD as a young kid, and that is why he's out following a lead for Fury about this Extremis mumbo jumbo and then accidently runs into Tony in Iron Man 3. In his awkwardness, he uses the alias Gary...because Tony wouldn't care if his name was Peter or Gary or Ben or Miles. While we're retconning, he was on his honeymoon when the New York invasion happened, so this wedding film takes place before Iron Man 3 and the Avengers. These films never air perfectly. But we see the Sinister Six as individual criminals in the flashbacks. Then, the sequel is the Sinister Six. Then close out the trilogy with Venom and Carnage. Then, pass it over to Miles.
What you think? Could this work? If so, tag @AdamPally on Twitter as #Spiderman. Sony, Disney, Marvel, Kevin Feige...the ball is in your court!
Professor Procrastination/Legit Idjit/Perfect Slacker
is a self-proclaimed, semi-professional procrastinator that doubles as an pop-culture guru. Is he completely renarded? Perhaps. Is renarded a word that he invented on urban dictionary? It is. He is also the Legit Idjit on Facebook and a Perfect Slacker on reddit and Twitter.